***I am writing this at 3am. I am sure there are a plethora of run on sentences and grammatical errors...sue me***
When I was growing up, I used to love to rearrange my room. I started this process at a very young age (like elementary school). It wasn't just the furniture that I would change up either; I would rearrange the photos, the endless posters of Jonathan Taylor Thomas and every other BOP, Teen Bop and Tiger Beat heart throb of the late 90's that was taped onto my walls. :) I seriously, probably kept Scotch tape in business back then. :) *You're welcome Scotch*. This rearranging would happen quite often, were talking every couple months, but no less than 2 times a year. Me and my childhood best friend Sarah (who happens to have a great blog "The Lovely Life"....you should follow) would help give each others room their regular "face lifts". The need for new and exciting is a part of my personality. I get bored easy when I see the same thing day in and day out. I don't have to have new furniture or even fresh decor on the walls, I just need them....rearranged.
I need a fresh perspective on the things I am familiar with.
However, for me the rearranging process takes a lot of time, energy, thinking and physical labor. When I first started moving stuff around I would push and shove my bed all over the place until I found a spot I liked it in, this only happened a few times before I grew a bit smarter. It was as if I went from Cave woman to Einstein when I started simply using my brain and thinking through the process in my head. I could draw out a mental blue print and once I figure out how I wanted it to look, then I would just go for it.
If you are anything like me, when rearranging a room there is that overwhelming moment that takes place after you have made the decision to change things, but before things are back in order. You know, that moment when every piece of furniture and keep sake that represents your life is strewn across your bed and in piles on the floor. That moment when the hill of trash includes: the same VHS tapes that you now own on DVD (and you're really not sure how they survived this long), broken down, dusty shoe boxes & bill notifications that were paid 2 years ago. That moment when half of your furniture has been drug across the room and the other half still needs to be budged out of place. That moment when you see the colony of dust bunnies. That moment when the furniture indention's in the carpet are exposed. Its in THAT moment half way through the project when everything is in complete disarray....that the project seems like a bad idea.
As I am writing this, I am experiencing that moment both metaphorically and in reality. My room is a wreck and my choice of background noise is "The Runaway Bride". Maybe its because I am in my twenties or maybe age has nothing to do with it. All I know is that things in my life have become familiar. My job(s), my walk with God (to a certain extent), my weekly routines, my bank account, my relationship status, my friends, my clothes, my...life. I can take a look back at the last year of my life and everything inside of me was screaming "CHANGE!" and now, things are changing and here I am in the midst of change....overwhelmed with the "mess" I am surrounded in. I have analyzed how I want the "furniture" of my life to look, a part of me wants brand new furniture paired with the vintage decor of my life. How I want it to look is neither here nor there, the task at hand is simply....how will I decorate with what I currently have?
In the middle of THAT overwhelming moment, I have always responded the same way... I always take a break. This time during my break, I blogged. :) There is always a choice that takes place during the "break". I can either look at everything and decide that the work is not worth the end result and then put things back where I found them. I can place the furniture back on the indention's and just vacuum up the dust. I can throw away only what I no longer use anymore and then fill the empty space with something else. I can go back to life as the boring familiarity that drove me to a now abandoned motivation OR...
I can keep going. I can press through the discomfort of throwing things away that I both don't use or NEED in my life. I can press through the discomfort of realizing what I was living in is dirtier than I would like to admit. I can press through the reorganization of the clutter. I can press through the blood, sweat and tears it will take to see the end result. I can choose to realize...I can.
I am always happy at the end of the project when things are put back together and cleaned up. It gives me a fresh perspective and I see things from a different angle. I guess where I am getting with this long rant about my currently disastrous room and obsession with rearranging, is that sometimes that is exactly how it is when God is trying to do something new in our life. At first things sound like a great idea! We respond with, "Change? Why sure, why not...I mean you are God and know whats best right?" and then during the process when the light shines into those corners of our life that don't typically get exposed....we don't like what we find. When He starts calling us to take what we have and to make a beautiful arrangement out of it...we just want to take our old furniture and just shove it in storage until WE find use for it...."just give me something new God". When He is wanting to do a deep work in our life....we find out that we really don't have it all together like we thought we did. In THAT moment, we want to give up and just put our life back the way it was before He shifted things around. But, its in THAT moment, when we have to choose to sit back and just listen to HIS plan and blueprint for our life. We have to choose to realize that "through Him, we can".
So, here I am sitting with multiple areas of my life laying bare and even somewhat out of place, wondering what they will look like once I am finished "rearranging". I am confident of this one thing, I always enjoy the finished project and the work is always worth it. Here's to a beautiful mess!
When I was growing up, I used to love to rearrange my room. I started this process at a very young age (like elementary school). It wasn't just the furniture that I would change up either; I would rearrange the photos, the endless posters of Jonathan Taylor Thomas and every other BOP, Teen Bop and Tiger Beat heart throb of the late 90's that was taped onto my walls. :) I seriously, probably kept Scotch tape in business back then. :) *You're welcome Scotch*. This rearranging would happen quite often, were talking every couple months, but no less than 2 times a year. Me and my childhood best friend Sarah (who happens to have a great blog "The Lovely Life"....you should follow) would help give each others room their regular "face lifts". The need for new and exciting is a part of my personality. I get bored easy when I see the same thing day in and day out. I don't have to have new furniture or even fresh decor on the walls, I just need them....rearranged.
I need a fresh perspective on the things I am familiar with.
However, for me the rearranging process takes a lot of time, energy, thinking and physical labor. When I first started moving stuff around I would push and shove my bed all over the place until I found a spot I liked it in, this only happened a few times before I grew a bit smarter. It was as if I went from Cave woman to Einstein when I started simply using my brain and thinking through the process in my head. I could draw out a mental blue print and once I figure out how I wanted it to look, then I would just go for it.
If you are anything like me, when rearranging a room there is that overwhelming moment that takes place after you have made the decision to change things, but before things are back in order. You know, that moment when every piece of furniture and keep sake that represents your life is strewn across your bed and in piles on the floor. That moment when the hill of trash includes: the same VHS tapes that you now own on DVD (and you're really not sure how they survived this long), broken down, dusty shoe boxes & bill notifications that were paid 2 years ago. That moment when half of your furniture has been drug across the room and the other half still needs to be budged out of place. That moment when you see the colony of dust bunnies. That moment when the furniture indention's in the carpet are exposed. Its in THAT moment half way through the project when everything is in complete disarray....that the project seems like a bad idea.
As I am writing this, I am experiencing that moment both metaphorically and in reality. My room is a wreck and my choice of background noise is "The Runaway Bride". Maybe its because I am in my twenties or maybe age has nothing to do with it. All I know is that things in my life have become familiar. My job(s), my walk with God (to a certain extent), my weekly routines, my bank account, my relationship status, my friends, my clothes, my...life. I can take a look back at the last year of my life and everything inside of me was screaming "CHANGE!" and now, things are changing and here I am in the midst of change....overwhelmed with the "mess" I am surrounded in. I have analyzed how I want the "furniture" of my life to look, a part of me wants brand new furniture paired with the vintage decor of my life. How I want it to look is neither here nor there, the task at hand is simply....how will I decorate with what I currently have?
In the middle of THAT overwhelming moment, I have always responded the same way... I always take a break. This time during my break, I blogged. :) There is always a choice that takes place during the "break". I can either look at everything and decide that the work is not worth the end result and then put things back where I found them. I can place the furniture back on the indention's and just vacuum up the dust. I can throw away only what I no longer use anymore and then fill the empty space with something else. I can go back to life as the boring familiarity that drove me to a now abandoned motivation OR...
I can keep going. I can press through the discomfort of throwing things away that I both don't use or NEED in my life. I can press through the discomfort of realizing what I was living in is dirtier than I would like to admit. I can press through the reorganization of the clutter. I can press through the blood, sweat and tears it will take to see the end result. I can choose to realize...I can.
I am always happy at the end of the project when things are put back together and cleaned up. It gives me a fresh perspective and I see things from a different angle. I guess where I am getting with this long rant about my currently disastrous room and obsession with rearranging, is that sometimes that is exactly how it is when God is trying to do something new in our life. At first things sound like a great idea! We respond with, "Change? Why sure, why not...I mean you are God and know whats best right?" and then during the process when the light shines into those corners of our life that don't typically get exposed....we don't like what we find. When He starts calling us to take what we have and to make a beautiful arrangement out of it...we just want to take our old furniture and just shove it in storage until WE find use for it...."just give me something new God". When He is wanting to do a deep work in our life....we find out that we really don't have it all together like we thought we did. In THAT moment, we want to give up and just put our life back the way it was before He shifted things around. But, its in THAT moment, when we have to choose to sit back and just listen to HIS plan and blueprint for our life. We have to choose to realize that "through Him, we can".
So, here I am sitting with multiple areas of my life laying bare and even somewhat out of place, wondering what they will look like once I am finished "rearranging". I am confident of this one thing, I always enjoy the finished project and the work is always worth it. Here's to a beautiful mess!
GREAT!!! I love this!! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
ReplyDeleteMy sweet, sweet daughter. I am in the beginning process of re-arranging the guest bedroom. I walk in, look and walk out saying..."Maybe tomorrow." Which is always how I begin things. Putting it off. Because for me personally starting the change always seems worse than the actual change itself. A wonderful metaphor. ILY
ReplyDelete;) Thank you Mama. I love you too!
ReplyDeleteWow, I love it. Well said; especially for writing @ 3:00 in the morning ;) Excellent metaphor for real. I can definitely relate. Ready for some change and then overwhelmed by the process. It's a good thing that God is so good though it all. He has a plan and purpose in everything.
ReplyDelete