Rambling Contentment

The months of October and November for me were full of conferences, preaching, church events, house-sitting, friends going through crisis' & work.....lots of work. Out of sheer stress I told a friend on the week leading up to our trip to Nicaragua, "If I had known how crazy my month was gonna be, I probably wouldn't have agreed to go on this trip". 

It's in moments like those, that I am so glad we don't "know" everything. It's just like God to bring us a refreshment that is disguised in serving others, when we ourselves feel we have nothing left to give. I just kept reminding myself that God's grace is sufficient and that He would supply my every need.

On November 17, 2012 myself and 16 others headed to Hartsfield-Jackson airport to jump on a plane and head to Nicaragua. I had the honor of being the Pastoral Lead on our youth ministries first Missions Trip. Once we hit the airport reality set in for me, "Holy Lord, like... we're really doing this". I had tons of thoughts flooding through my mind. Thoughts of whether I was ready for the trip, excitement about going to a new country/meeting new people, I wondered how the team was going to get along, what problems might arise....if I was going to see a tarantula .....I had lots of thoughts. I had co-lead missions trips before, but never as THE main leader & never with minors. But, yet....there was this peace that superseded every thought my little mind produced. Philippians 4:7 ~ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard you hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Though I would love to put into words everything that God did in our lives while we were in Nica, that would take a book full of stories. To be honest, Im still processing all that God did in my own heart. I will say that I could not have asked for a better team. I have NEVER been more proud of our youth ministry. I never had to challenge a bad perspective or cut off a complaint. Their were very minor issues that honestly just come with being a 16 year old. Our students were available, if they were out of their comfort zones than it was hard to tell, they worked incredibly hard and most of all....they loved without restraint. Language & culture barriers were not going to hold them back. I'm so, so, so, so proud! 

Thanksgiving Day:

I woke up that morning and took a cold shower in a 3rd world country. I had a sunburn from sweating the layers of sunblock off the days before, there was no smell of a feast being prepared, I was living out of a suitcase and staying in a facility that though it was nice, every night we were introduced to a new "roommate" (rats, scorpions, lizards, tarantulas...ect). To you, that scenario may not seem like the ingredients to a wonderful Thanksgiving....but,

I'm not sure that I have ever felt such contentment in my life. The "comforts" of my home back in the states were not on my mind. I didn't miss anything. I didn't long for anything. Sure, it would have been nice to have my friends with me enjoying a Starbucks while taking in the beauty of Nica...but I really didn't long for anything. 

My only desire was simply...for more Jesus.

Philippians 4:19 ~ And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

The whole week I had been doing life in a country where people depend on God for so much! Before my trip to Nica, I had seen brokenness, I had walked the streets of poverty, I had talked to people in desperate situations, I had allowed gratefulness to take root in my life...but Nicaragua was different. The people there were so loving, so open, so real. It was so refreshing. Not only is the country a beautiful sight to see, the hearts of the people paint a picture that would put Picasso to shame. 

On the eve of Thanksgiving our team had held a church service for the youth of Newsong Church in Candelaria. For the first time maybe ever I felt like I had nothing to offer. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't out of insecurity, I was not underestimating the power of God's word & I was confident that God would use me. But, all day long I was telling God how I felt that those people needed to be preaching to me. Preaching is one of my favorite ways to share the Gospel, but that day...it was hard. My message was about being desperate for God and silencing the "crowds" in our life. The crowds that try to keep us silent and distant from God. 

Watching the people of the village, hearing the children laughing, being invited into their houses and hearing their stories made me just so much more disgusted with our Americanized faith. The people I met last week, knew heartache, brokenness & desperation, but they also knew God. Preaching there was such a humbling experience. After the message we had a time together of just seeking God in our own ways. What a precious moment it was to look out into the room and see people praying, dancing, worshipping, reading the Word & some just sitting in God's presence. 

At the end of the day we all need Jesus.

Nicaragua was exactly what I needed. During a hectic season of my life, God brought me to another country to serve another people, to find....another level of His love. I am refreshed. I am ever so grateful for the things God showed me....maybe one day I will blog about those things. I have new friends that I cant wait to see again. I have amazing memories. I have new inside jokes that I am sure I will think about at the most inappropriate times where I will have to hold back a laugh. I have a new perspective. I have a new level of faith. I have new bonds. I have new stories. I have....everything that I need. 

Just give me Jesus.....He is all we truly need. 

A piece of my heart will forever reside in Nicaragua. I look forward to the next time my feet hit that dusty ground. If you made it through this random blog....congrats and thank you. :) 

There was no rhyme or reason to this entry. No crazy revelation. Just a simple reminder that God is faithful and contentment cant be bought....just found in Christ alone.