We as servers/waiters and waitresses/or the one you often refer to as "our guy" or "our lady"....(whatever you like to call us when you go out to eat) have a million "restaurant etiquette rules" that we always vent with each about. I have heard numerous servers say, "I'm gonna write a book one day that explains how to act while dining out!" However, I have yet to see that book published. So, this is my feeble attempt to help you as the guest and my fellows servers work together.
TOP 10 "DINING MANNERS" YOU SHOULD PRACTICE.
1.Remember your server is a person!
a.) Just like you, we deserve to be treated like human beings, not like slaves or some animal that has to submit to your abrupt commands. If you had a bad day, don't take it out on the server.
b.) You never know the motivation behind someones job. Try not to judge us. There is such a stigma that comes with being a server at times. People often assume that servers are in that current job for some of the following reasons: 1. They are in school and serving is convenient. 2. They dont really have goals for a "real career" and just ended up getting a serving job.
Although, these assumptions may be the case for SOME, it is not the case for all servers. I actually really enjoy my job! I love people. Even on days where I dont bring in as much money as I wanted or days where I dealt with really frustrating guests or situations, I love my job. I chose my job. Serving is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but it has taught me so much about life, relationships, servant leadership, people, communication and considering others better than myself (Philippians 2:3).
2. Pay Attention to your server!
a.) When your server approaches the table try to acknowledge them. We don't like interrupting your conversations, but its our job to find out what you would like and to make sure we deliver a great dining experience. It makes it really awkward for your server when we approach and greet the table and we are either completely ignored as your personal conversations continue or completely ignored as your attention continues to your phone, etc.
b.) I know that the typical shpeel at the beginning of the meal isn't always attention grabbing and exciting, (Unless you have a charismatic server) but typically the important information about specials or daily soups/plates are listed in there. This is also where you should learn the NAME of your server. :) It personally irritates me when I have gone through my introduction and then my guests asks me a question about something I just stated.
3. Don't interrupt your server!
a.) This is closely tied together with #1 & #2.
b.) I always ask how my guests are doing. Believe it or not, I actually do care how their days are going...it helps me gage the mood they are in. Anyways, its quite belittling when Im in the middle of saying hello and before I can even finish getting the words out to ask how they are doing...I am interrupted with, "Ill have a Coke!". *Tries not to get offended, but thinks..."its cool, I wasnt talking....sorry for caring". However, I usually combat the jagged response with something like, "Ok, a Coke...and how are we doing today?" lol
4. Ask for all the things you need at once, don't keep your server running!
I know this is easier said than done, but try to think of what you are going to need when your server asks, "is there anything else you need. I feel like my guests are trying to make me crazy at times when they send me running for their items one trip at a time. It makes my job more efficient for you and my other tables if I know what you need upfront.
5. If you use a coupon, you should still TIP your server off the ORIGINAL amount!
It's true.
6. If you have your meal is taken care of by a manager (especially, if there was a problem and it wasn't the servers fault) STILL LEAVE A TIP!
This is also true.
a.) There have been times that I have done EVERYTHING in my power to make my guests happy despite failures coming from areas I dont "control". (i.e.- long ticket times, food temperature problems) and at the end of the meal they leave me absolutely nothing.
b.) If your server is horrible (not attentive at all, rude, forgets about you...ect.) that is when you talk to a manager. Depending on the situation and how drastic it is....I would say that is when tipping is up to your discretion. But, be fair....we dont cook the food or control how fast it come out. We do have control over your drinks and placing your orders. :)
7. The restaurant, table or waiting area is NOT a playground for your children!
Remember, restraurants are high traffic places. People are carrying hot food, glassware and silverware...including knives. Letting your children run free is not a good idea. Carrying a tray with 10 glasses is already stressful enough, try carrying a tray with 10 glasses while trying to dodge children that are running like wild banchies! Not a breath of fresh air!
8. Try not to suck your drink down so fast that you keep your server running!
If youre that thirsty or drink that much...just tell your server so they can be attentive or even bring you two glasses. :) Its quite stressful when you drop a drink off and before you can even walk away that glass is now empty and the guest is looking right at you while sucking every drop of liquid off each piece of ice!
9. COMMUNICATE!
Self explanatory.
But for those who need clarity.....
a.) Speak up.
b.) Tell your server if you are allergic to or dont like certain foods/ingredients! We will not know that you cant eat dairy if you dont tell us! Sorry, we are just NOT that good. We ask questions so we know how to deliver exactly what you want. If youre picky or hesitant about something...just tell us or ask a question. That way we have a better aim at getting you what you want.
c.) Tell us if you really are not ready to make a decision. You are usually not the only table we are attending to. While you tell us "oh, Im ready" and then drag out the "hmmmmm, ya know...I think.....welll maybe not...." we are thinking, "OMG, I have to drop the check off at table 10, tables 9's drink is prob ready at the bar now, we need to refill the glasses at the server stations, table 9 is staring at me wondering where their drink is at and I realllllllly have to go to the bathroom!"
10. Tip for TOTAL AND TIME!
a.) We are now in 2010 and the tipping rate is 18 - 20% of the total. Bad at math? Let me break it down for you for every $10 you spend, you should leave atleast $2 for the tip. Bill is $30...then you leave $6.
b.) Heres the deal. Say you and your friend are getting together to "catch up". You go out to dinner and by a drink or two and then have dinner, before you know it you have been chatting it up for 3 hours! Thats great, we as servers are glad our team could cultivate a comfortable atmosphere for you. However, you have to think on our end. Say your bill together was $54. You leave us $10 for tip. In 3 hours off of that one table that we could have turned 2 more times, we basically made $3 per hour on it. So, just keep that in mind. Those few extra dollars that you could add...really are appreciated.
So, there are a few of the major table manners I wanted to share. There are hundreds more! At the end of the day no matter how big or how small the tip...it does all add up and we really do appreciate it. Nobody is perfect and these tips are to help you understand the servers point of view. I fully understand that dining out can be frustrating when things dont go right and unfortunately not all servers appreciate their job the way that I do. But, if we would try to "consider others better than ourselves" than the world will be a much happier and better place.
Last but not least, we appreciate your compliments....but remember "verbal tips don't pay my bills."
Lets say grace...
TOP 10 "DINING MANNERS" YOU SHOULD PRACTICE.
1.Remember your server is a person!
a.) Just like you, we deserve to be treated like human beings, not like slaves or some animal that has to submit to your abrupt commands. If you had a bad day, don't take it out on the server.
b.) You never know the motivation behind someones job. Try not to judge us. There is such a stigma that comes with being a server at times. People often assume that servers are in that current job for some of the following reasons: 1. They are in school and serving is convenient. 2. They dont really have goals for a "real career" and just ended up getting a serving job.
Although, these assumptions may be the case for SOME, it is not the case for all servers. I actually really enjoy my job! I love people. Even on days where I dont bring in as much money as I wanted or days where I dealt with really frustrating guests or situations, I love my job. I chose my job. Serving is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but it has taught me so much about life, relationships, servant leadership, people, communication and considering others better than myself (Philippians 2:3).
2. Pay Attention to your server!
a.) When your server approaches the table try to acknowledge them. We don't like interrupting your conversations, but its our job to find out what you would like and to make sure we deliver a great dining experience. It makes it really awkward for your server when we approach and greet the table and we are either completely ignored as your personal conversations continue or completely ignored as your attention continues to your phone, etc.
b.) I know that the typical shpeel at the beginning of the meal isn't always attention grabbing and exciting, (Unless you have a charismatic server) but typically the important information about specials or daily soups/plates are listed in there. This is also where you should learn the NAME of your server. :) It personally irritates me when I have gone through my introduction and then my guests asks me a question about something I just stated.
3. Don't interrupt your server!
a.) This is closely tied together with #1 & #2.
b.) I always ask how my guests are doing. Believe it or not, I actually do care how their days are going...it helps me gage the mood they are in. Anyways, its quite belittling when Im in the middle of saying hello and before I can even finish getting the words out to ask how they are doing...I am interrupted with, "Ill have a Coke!". *Tries not to get offended, but thinks..."its cool, I wasnt talking....sorry for caring". However, I usually combat the jagged response with something like, "Ok, a Coke...and how are we doing today?" lol
4. Ask for all the things you need at once, don't keep your server running!
I know this is easier said than done, but try to think of what you are going to need when your server asks, "is there anything else you need. I feel like my guests are trying to make me crazy at times when they send me running for their items one trip at a time. It makes my job more efficient for you and my other tables if I know what you need upfront.
5. If you use a coupon, you should still TIP your server off the ORIGINAL amount!
It's true.
6. If you have your meal is taken care of by a manager (especially, if there was a problem and it wasn't the servers fault) STILL LEAVE A TIP!
This is also true.
a.) There have been times that I have done EVERYTHING in my power to make my guests happy despite failures coming from areas I dont "control". (i.e.- long ticket times, food temperature problems) and at the end of the meal they leave me absolutely nothing.
b.) If your server is horrible (not attentive at all, rude, forgets about you...ect.) that is when you talk to a manager. Depending on the situation and how drastic it is....I would say that is when tipping is up to your discretion. But, be fair....we dont cook the food or control how fast it come out. We do have control over your drinks and placing your orders. :)
7. The restaurant, table or waiting area is NOT a playground for your children!
Remember, restraurants are high traffic places. People are carrying hot food, glassware and silverware...including knives. Letting your children run free is not a good idea. Carrying a tray with 10 glasses is already stressful enough, try carrying a tray with 10 glasses while trying to dodge children that are running like wild banchies! Not a breath of fresh air!
8. Try not to suck your drink down so fast that you keep your server running!
If youre that thirsty or drink that much...just tell your server so they can be attentive or even bring you two glasses. :) Its quite stressful when you drop a drink off and before you can even walk away that glass is now empty and the guest is looking right at you while sucking every drop of liquid off each piece of ice!
9. COMMUNICATE!
Self explanatory.
But for those who need clarity.....
a.) Speak up.
b.) Tell your server if you are allergic to or dont like certain foods/ingredients! We will not know that you cant eat dairy if you dont tell us! Sorry, we are just NOT that good. We ask questions so we know how to deliver exactly what you want. If youre picky or hesitant about something...just tell us or ask a question. That way we have a better aim at getting you what you want.
c.) Tell us if you really are not ready to make a decision. You are usually not the only table we are attending to. While you tell us "oh, Im ready" and then drag out the "hmmmmm, ya know...I think.....welll maybe not...." we are thinking, "OMG, I have to drop the check off at table 10, tables 9's drink is prob ready at the bar now, we need to refill the glasses at the server stations, table 9 is staring at me wondering where their drink is at and I realllllllly have to go to the bathroom!"
10. Tip for TOTAL AND TIME!
a.) We are now in 2010 and the tipping rate is 18 - 20% of the total. Bad at math? Let me break it down for you for every $10 you spend, you should leave atleast $2 for the tip. Bill is $30...then you leave $6.
b.) Heres the deal. Say you and your friend are getting together to "catch up". You go out to dinner and by a drink or two and then have dinner, before you know it you have been chatting it up for 3 hours! Thats great, we as servers are glad our team could cultivate a comfortable atmosphere for you. However, you have to think on our end. Say your bill together was $54. You leave us $10 for tip. In 3 hours off of that one table that we could have turned 2 more times, we basically made $3 per hour on it. So, just keep that in mind. Those few extra dollars that you could add...really are appreciated.
So, there are a few of the major table manners I wanted to share. There are hundreds more! At the end of the day no matter how big or how small the tip...it does all add up and we really do appreciate it. Nobody is perfect and these tips are to help you understand the servers point of view. I fully understand that dining out can be frustrating when things dont go right and unfortunately not all servers appreciate their job the way that I do. But, if we would try to "consider others better than ourselves" than the world will be a much happier and better place.
Last but not least, we appreciate your compliments....but remember "verbal tips don't pay my bills."
Lets say grace...
Well done Jenny! Ya know I've read a lot of different things on servers and restaurant dos and don'ts but I do believe this hit on some good points that I haven't read before. I believe I will subscribe. . . .yeah . . I will.
ReplyDeleteThank you Neil. Didnt want it to be a "server vent session." :) Just some tips to help us all.
ReplyDelete